Would You Follow You?

I recently returned from my annual pilgrimage to Influence, the National Speakers Association’s annual convention, held this year in Austin, Texas. Every year I come home with new ideas, new and renewed friendships, and at least one question that lingers long after the conference ends.

This year’s question came from my friend and colleague, David Horsager. Speaking to a room full of CPAEs, members of the U.S. Speaker Hall of Fame, he asked us a simple question:

“Would you follow you?”

Not, “Are you a good leader?” Not, “Are you successful?”

Just five words.

Would you follow you?

I haven’t been able to shake that question.

Like most leaders, I would like to believe the answer is yes. But when I look back over more than forty years of leading people and teams, I have to admit there were seasons when my answer would have been a resounding no.

I wasn’t always someone I would have wanted to follow.

Looking back, I can see that I was sometimes so focused on results that I forgot leadership is about people first and tasks second. On more than one occasion, I assumed I had the answers instead of asking better questions.

Far too often, I listened only long enough to prepare my response instead of genuinely seeking to understand another person’s perspective.

And then there were the seasons when life simply got in the way.

Reluctantly moving from one city to another, I was carrying some baggage that inevitably spilled into my work. During COVID, like many leaders, I found myself navigating uncertainty, isolation, and stress. Looking back, I’m sure there were days when I wasn’t even the best person to be around, much less the kind of leader others wanted to follow.

Those experiences taught me something important.

Leadership doesn’t happen in isolation. We don’t check our personal lives at the office door. Our emotional health, our self-awareness, and the way we manage adversity all influence the experience others have working with us.

Over the years, one definition of leadership has guided my thinking. It’s adapted from a quote often attributed to Dwight D. Eisenhower:

Leadership is the art of getting people to want to do what must be done.

The key word is want.  Anyone with enough authority can get people to comply.  Great leaders inspire commitment.  They create an environment where people choose to give their best because they trust the leader, believe in the mission, and know their contributions matter.

That’s why I’ve long believed that people don’t follow titles. They follow trust.  A title may earn you a position.  Trust earns you followers.  Trust is built through consistency, humility, competence, and genuine care for others. It grows when leaders admit mistakes, ask for feedback, and keep learning. It deepens when people know their leader values them as human beings, not simply as contributors to the next objective.

As I reflected on David’s question, I realized something else:  Leadership isn’t measured during our best days.  It is measured during our hardest ones.

Under pressure…

When life throws us a curveball…

In moments of exhaustion, frustration, disappointment, or overwhelm…

That’s when people discover who we really are.

None of us gets this right all the time. I certainly haven’t.  The good news is that leadership is a practice, not a destination. Every day gives us another opportunity to become someone people genuinely want to follow.

So here’s my challenge to you:

Take a few quiet minutes this week and ask yourself one simple question:

Would you follow you?

Don’t answer too quickly.  Really think about it.  Then ask someone you trust, someone who will tell you the truth:

“What’s one thing I could do that would make me a better leader… someone people genuinely want to follow?”

Listen carefully.  Don’t defend yourself.  Just learn.

Because if leadership is truly the art of getting people to want to do what must be done, then becoming that kind of leader begins with the courage to look in the mirror.

And that’s a journey worth taking.

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