Book Review “The Earned Life: Lose Regret, Choose Fulfillment”

A Mindset Reset of What is Most Important

I am a big fan of Marshall Goldsmith’s work as an executive coach to CEOs around the world. So I was curious about his latest book, “The Earned Life: Lose Regret, Choose Fulfillment.” I can honestly say that I don’t have any regrets: they have all brought me to the place that I am today, so I wasn’t sure this book would speak to me. But it did.

The Earned Life doesn’t focus on the regret side of life but more on the “fulfillment” side, including purpose, meaning, achievement, relationships, engagement, and happiness.

Okay, I’d like to focus on those elements – and by focusing on those elements, you “earn” your [awesome] life.

“We are living an earned life when the choices, risk, and effort we make in each moment align with an overarching purpose in our lives, regardless of the eventual outcome.”

Much more positive and empowering!

At its core, The Earned Life explores the idea that true fulfillment isn’t about achieving goals, racking up accolades, or chasing an ideal version of success. Instead, it’s about committing to a life where every moment is earned through our actions, intentions, and alignment with purpose.

Goldsmith argues that the earned life is one lived with integrity, where regrets are minimized because each moment is lived consciously. That doesn’t mean striving for perfection, but being fully present, adaptable, and committed to continuous self-improvement.

The book consists of two parts: One is on choosing the life you want, and the second is earning that life. I found the first part much more interesting:

• His Buddhist mantra of “Every breath I take is a new me.” With each breath, you experience emotions, and with each breath, it alters, eventually vanishing. “Whatever you hope will happen in your next breath, or the next day, or the next year will be experienced by a different you, the future you. The only iteration of you that matters is the present you who has just taken a breath.”
• The Triple A’s – Action, Ambition, and Aspiration that govern any progress we make toward living the life we seek. Action is what we are doing now, Ambition is what we want to achieve, and Aspiration is who we want to become. Ideally, these should align.
• When assessing risk vs. opportunity, use the lens of the Triple A’s
• “Slice the Loaf” to find your One-Trick Genius. Given Patrick Lencioni’s Working Genius and Dan Sullivan’s Unique Ability, I appreciated the journey of finding your special talent. It takes time “slicing” off things that others can do and/or don’t make you happy.

All of these come with some great exercises at the end of each chapter to help you put these principles into the context of your life.

Part 2 is more on the strategies to earn the life you choose:

• Compliance. You have no other choice.
• Accountability. Our response to expectations we impose on ourselves.
• Follow-up. Other people check up on us, taking an interest in our opinions and valuing our feedback.
• Measurement. “The truest indicator of our priorities – because what we measure drives out what we don’t.

Goldsmith then gives us a few tools:

• The Life Plan Review (LPR) is a weekly review of your effort to earn the life you claim to desire…and then to share your results with your community, not only to recite numbers but to compare notes and help one another.
• The need to ask for help. This is my weakest link, and he deftly explains why we need to ask for help. (No man is an island….yeah, I got it!).
• How earning has to become a habit – and how to do that.
• Delayed vs. instant gratification. Sometimes, you have to suck it up and do what needs to be done rather than “eat the marshmellow.”

The Earned Life is less of a “how-to” manual and more of a mindset reset. It doesn’t offer silver bullets, but it provides enduring questions and practices that, if applied, can dramatically shift the way you live and lead.

It’s especially valuable for leaders, coaches, and anyone navigating a major life transition. For teams, it offers a new lens to look beyond performance metrics and toward meaningful engagement.

“We are not the people we were. We are not the people we will become. We are only the people we are right now.” — Marshall Goldsmith

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